At this frame of time and after considerable words which I shared with you I would like to say so many things. I have fairly decent knowledge where the things are heading and what is in your mind. This may annoys you a little but I would assure you that they would be all correct and would make exact sense, as they are from pure heart without an adulteration of thoughts. I would like to start up with and interesting love story.
-------------------------
There was a boy hails from middle class family, an average in studies, not so confidences and low in spirits. This developed in him because of his family conditions, which is obvious. However he won't have felt like that, he would have know its because of environment and there is nothing to blame about. No matter what the fact it boy was never felt good about what he was. His studies scores were below average and his parents were, unmentioned not satisfied. He was not aware, no one would know in class 5. But this etched his personality. His parents got him to boarding school, not because he was unmanageable, but sort of investing in brighter future. Sainik school Satara, is military based school, its not a jail but seem to an outsider. This little guy saw tears in his father eyes for the first time, the time when he was to hand over him to hostel authorities. With this start, on 17 Aug 1999, the little guy was not able to balance his life and entire year he cried to carved for parental love. A love which is meant for him, school was not harsh but this void made it acerbic. With time he was force to live in senior hostel, worth mentioning, senior were also devil, and he lost even what was remaining. However, in company of unknown terrifying people, he decided to mask himself, he wiped his tears and killed that little homey guy. Just moved with the wave, tried just enough to keep abreast in ferocious sea. In 9th class he got into transforming stage, his height started to shoot, voice changed, initial peek of beard showered over his visage. But he didn't changed emotionally, because his soul was already dead. He grew clever, not academically but intellectually. Absence of opposite sex have let him to have no orientation towards it. He was above average, took responsibilities in every year, starting from 7th he was vice monitor of class, 9th monitor, 10th under-officer of NCC, 11th dorm vice prefect and art club leader (got 3 of his clay molding selected in annual magazine, where making on clay molding worth being select is rare) and finally in 12th he was vice house captain. Neither he nor his parents were satisfied with what was going on.
All SSS students were expected to join NDA and his guys craze was to go in Air force, he put up for UPSC, in first attempt, he was not through, not because the exam was difficult but because he was not doing it. As a matter of fact, only 3 people of his house mate were not able to clear it. Whole 12th class, year was sort of thick smoke of stigma to live in. The second sort of UPSC was there just after board exams and this time his fellow had himself was ready. Cracking the exam was not at all difficult, rather his scores were very good. However, lost of his friends, who were with him for 7 long years, have make him feel sick. Over that, constant displeasure minds of his family members because of him, made him shrunk to a point. He has to do something, panicky, got into good institute in his home town. In between he went for SSB (service selection board) and fail, only hope was his time being college. Totally new environment was nothing to afraid about but he was emotionally shard and world look red hot pan. Further, to add up, girls, they were the blank spot in his vision. Knowing that there is nothing to do he choose to study in his only world, not to give a single chance of his parents to complaint.
One day his daddy called from Ahemedabad and told that he has received his admit card to UPSC, went to his father the very evening (from Nagpur) and on reaching there, next day, got the card and went to Mumbai (They have shifted from Mumbai ). Went directly to give exam and only preparation he did was overnight in train. Luckily, he cracked and was called at same SSB center, but this time surprise awaits. Sleeping in railway dormitories, his school's best friend cot him awake and there after world was heaven. This happiness doesn't last longer as his friend got screened out (In Air force SSB, you have screening next day because of PABT [=life time Pilot exam]). His eyes didn't cried but his soul was drenched in tears. That was it, he took so seriously that everything followed seems to be with extra perception. He was best in group (as can be make out in group task) and he was before hand knew that he is going to be through. Some selected student had medical and then he was only guy who was fit for all the task force of air force. In the meantime he lost 4 practical exams. But in rest he manage to get marginal marks. NDA results had his name but he was not call out for him being low in rank. He was all set in dark.
With only friend, his books, he develop sincerity and hard work. He was favorite of all the professors who used to teach him and was consistently in top 5 from second year onwards. His life was bound around simple locus of class and prep at home. He was very talkative in class, in presence of professor, and does not exist in group outside the class. He some time has such responses that professor have to ask someone without commenting on it. The most remarkable thing occurred on first practical class of electronics, where teaching assistant was bully students with questions in the the subject. This guy was late and was allowed by him after a brief but heavy assail. When his turn came (randomly), he had answers for all the question, because he read about it out of his curiosity in year before. The dialogues were so interesting, that questions were posed, question was refined by him, then the answer and then implementation on broader scale. Almost like 7-10 questions perfectly answered, TA has no more to ask about, he asked those questions which he himself was not knowing, finally to end up with some Fermi level, from depth of thick electronic book he dig up, which he didn't answer. From that time onwards TA asked other batch students to clarify any doubt from him.
This guy, felt for a girl, whom he manage to see in his final year. She was beautiful because she was normal. Her behavior were honest and her attitude was humble. This guy felt the ooze of love bleeding out of his heart for her innocent core. He spoke to her and after knowing she won't be hurt and making it for her to know the answer before asking he told he has fallen for her. His body trembled, but he was stand still because he spine was powered by truth. She didn't deny nor he urged to know the answer. He just wanted to be a part of her happiness. When asked what she meant to him, he responded - " For me love is trust and respect for each other" , with his innocent reply she replied, she trust him and respect him. The days of final year were moving very fast and relation was never expressed. One day girl came to his house on his urge, but he could not tried to open her up. She was crushed into her own weight, which this fellow have cot. The smile which she has was simply a mask, she was bound and cross-wired amongst her feelings, family, society and friends. This guy have no idea what was it. On second meeting, at his house, he gained about mutual friend who also had crushed on her. And she was sort of annoyed with this things. He can't hurt anyone.
Inside himself, his throat was slit, every moment he wanted to spend with her, every pain she experience he wanted to take on her, his mind was telling him its only life exist if she is with you. He stayed awake for her to help her feel that she is not alone, when it was a day before submission of final Engineering drawing sheet. Next morning he was on time, and when she came, in second half, she asked why did you stay awake, though you had submitted the sheets long back. He happiness has no bound. One night, he wanted to really hug her and he text-ed her, she was upset about it. He apologized and also told her that the nights when he is too sleepy, are like a intoxicant for him, when his no more mask and his feeling ooze out. His passion towards her made him to feel her in his embrace and love her till eternity.
On third meeting he came to know about her fiancee, who was final year student when he was in first year (His eyes were not open to see this). She said, Its not in my hands, I have already said yes to my parents about him in my first year. He didn't showed any outburst. She was on tears, and he just can't take it. He made her sit over his computer chair, cajole her and mentioning that his feelings are kiddish and will have no significant impact in her life. He also assure her that his feeling would evaporate as soon as he join the company (he was placed already). And asked her not to shed any more tears for him, as they are far more worth. It was the first time he touched her, he touched her cheeks, after hesitating thrice, and wiped her tears. He want to embrace, but soon she left. She left and she was gone.
This guy didn't joined the company but went for higher studies at Mumbai and he never returned to Nagpur. With his deactivated FB page, he vanished from life of everyone who knew him. He was doing good in studies, and on September, there was mail from this girl. He can't just can't not reply her, he replied in very normal manner. Just to the point, didn't want to gain any information from her. She asked him to meet outside one day, he went, she messed with different routes of metro train and he went running all the way from other route (taxi or auto would be slowed him in busy evening hour at Matunga). The meeting was brief, she wanted to say something and yet taken back. After couple of days he gained about she getting engaged, from social medium as of event at NGP, and he congratulated her, and expressed his desire to meet her. He along with another girl (he now can't imaging meet her alone, contradicting to his moral) went to her location, had pre-birthday party and they left. Both were knowing that it was adieu. Night he wrote mail, sorry for everything, now being able to be good friend to stand at your support, not be able to make you happy when you think about me, sorry for being in your life to set this series of complications. Just stay happy. And in mind always be loving you.
He joined India's top university for his research, didn't updated his status over reactivated FB. He was different, living lives of different persons. On particular day he came to know about she being married, also knew that marriage was postponed and she married a different guy.
End.
...................................
This love story is real and to mention the boy is me. I didn't not present any artifacts, they are as they were. Only need to mention it to you is to give an image of my personality so that when I am dealing with you, you know me in and out. When I realize what love is from that genesis it is divine and I don't find any reason to think of to defy it. I told you how I met you. I was surfing a group on FB and your picture stuck for little more than a brief. I saw a lovely girl, a beautiful, charming and difficult to catch. I wrote it to you, because, I want it to be delivered straight. I expressed my feelings, yet choose of my words were so selective that it would hurt you in any way. My message was delivered in your other folder, where probability of scanning under your eyes were cut short. It was in month of July, I have checked every day for your reply for entire week. I was not blaming anyone, it was not a fault even. Then my research demand my attention towards it, and I stopped checking Fb.
Then two days back I received your message, it was shock because your profile pic I don't recognize. When I check then I realize that the message was sequence to thread of conversation. And I instantly recollected you. My orientation was physical towards you and in my first message I have also used words like flirt and beautiful. So I was aware that you would have respond in certain syndrome where you are stressful. I wanted to know more and into you, thinking we are moving in clear path, next day you message me that it was mistake and you was frustrated because of your boyfriend. I was taken back, my orientation towards your changed instantaneously, I though love you I would not make it complicated for you. My attraction now revolved around your happiness, your feelings and your trust, which were initially your smile and buxom body. I know it was over and I still took lot of efforts to collect courage to respond back so that you could be happy. I remember I told you how to stay clinch to love. At the same moment I was doing the same thing to make you feel happy, only intention was how to make you feel great and nothing else. You accepted my friend request, which helped me to gain access to your entire profile and I loved seeing your pictures that I have download almost all which has smile in it. In the span of day I realize you are having trouble in your decision of marriage and your boyfriend. I had a mixed feeling I want you be with me, I also though of inviting you for Mood Indigo, here at IITB, that's why I was asking when are you coming back. But on the same time I don't to replace anyone in your heart. It was inappropriate thought of mine, however it was true. I wait for your response and because I don't want to be saprophonic, I turned my internet off, also I have studies to be done. I messaged you that I would be busy and so you don't expect my reply immediately, I can never be busy for you. This was the reason why my messages was delayed. But my mind was constantly dragged towards it. I don't want you to burden about my feeling and make you uncomfortable. I was knowing that this is going to last for brief time and would be ceased, irrespective of what would be out come. I just walk as per my heart says, I just wanted you to be happy and live these precious moments to its pinnacle of glory.
Don't be under impression that I would be dejected for any thought, I am happy to share intangible relationship with you and being a cause for your smile.
That's all.
Thank you.
-------------------------
There was a boy hails from middle class family, an average in studies, not so confidences and low in spirits. This developed in him because of his family conditions, which is obvious. However he won't have felt like that, he would have know its because of environment and there is nothing to blame about. No matter what the fact it boy was never felt good about what he was. His studies scores were below average and his parents were, unmentioned not satisfied. He was not aware, no one would know in class 5. But this etched his personality. His parents got him to boarding school, not because he was unmanageable, but sort of investing in brighter future. Sainik school Satara, is military based school, its not a jail but seem to an outsider. This little guy saw tears in his father eyes for the first time, the time when he was to hand over him to hostel authorities. With this start, on 17 Aug 1999, the little guy was not able to balance his life and entire year he cried to carved for parental love. A love which is meant for him, school was not harsh but this void made it acerbic. With time he was force to live in senior hostel, worth mentioning, senior were also devil, and he lost even what was remaining. However, in company of unknown terrifying people, he decided to mask himself, he wiped his tears and killed that little homey guy. Just moved with the wave, tried just enough to keep abreast in ferocious sea. In 9th class he got into transforming stage, his height started to shoot, voice changed, initial peek of beard showered over his visage. But he didn't changed emotionally, because his soul was already dead. He grew clever, not academically but intellectually. Absence of opposite sex have let him to have no orientation towards it. He was above average, took responsibilities in every year, starting from 7th he was vice monitor of class, 9th monitor, 10th under-officer of NCC, 11th dorm vice prefect and art club leader (got 3 of his clay molding selected in annual magazine, where making on clay molding worth being select is rare) and finally in 12th he was vice house captain. Neither he nor his parents were satisfied with what was going on.
All SSS students were expected to join NDA and his guys craze was to go in Air force, he put up for UPSC, in first attempt, he was not through, not because the exam was difficult but because he was not doing it. As a matter of fact, only 3 people of his house mate were not able to clear it. Whole 12th class, year was sort of thick smoke of stigma to live in. The second sort of UPSC was there just after board exams and this time his fellow had himself was ready. Cracking the exam was not at all difficult, rather his scores were very good. However, lost of his friends, who were with him for 7 long years, have make him feel sick. Over that, constant displeasure minds of his family members because of him, made him shrunk to a point. He has to do something, panicky, got into good institute in his home town. In between he went for SSB (service selection board) and fail, only hope was his time being college. Totally new environment was nothing to afraid about but he was emotionally shard and world look red hot pan. Further, to add up, girls, they were the blank spot in his vision. Knowing that there is nothing to do he choose to study in his only world, not to give a single chance of his parents to complaint.
One day his daddy called from Ahemedabad and told that he has received his admit card to UPSC, went to his father the very evening (from Nagpur) and on reaching there, next day, got the card and went to Mumbai (They have shifted from Mumbai ). Went directly to give exam and only preparation he did was overnight in train. Luckily, he cracked and was called at same SSB center, but this time surprise awaits. Sleeping in railway dormitories, his school's best friend cot him awake and there after world was heaven. This happiness doesn't last longer as his friend got screened out (In Air force SSB, you have screening next day because of PABT [=life time Pilot exam]). His eyes didn't cried but his soul was drenched in tears. That was it, he took so seriously that everything followed seems to be with extra perception. He was best in group (as can be make out in group task) and he was before hand knew that he is going to be through. Some selected student had medical and then he was only guy who was fit for all the task force of air force. In the meantime he lost 4 practical exams. But in rest he manage to get marginal marks. NDA results had his name but he was not call out for him being low in rank. He was all set in dark.
With only friend, his books, he develop sincerity and hard work. He was favorite of all the professors who used to teach him and was consistently in top 5 from second year onwards. His life was bound around simple locus of class and prep at home. He was very talkative in class, in presence of professor, and does not exist in group outside the class. He some time has such responses that professor have to ask someone without commenting on it. The most remarkable thing occurred on first practical class of electronics, where teaching assistant was bully students with questions in the the subject. This guy was late and was allowed by him after a brief but heavy assail. When his turn came (randomly), he had answers for all the question, because he read about it out of his curiosity in year before. The dialogues were so interesting, that questions were posed, question was refined by him, then the answer and then implementation on broader scale. Almost like 7-10 questions perfectly answered, TA has no more to ask about, he asked those questions which he himself was not knowing, finally to end up with some Fermi level, from depth of thick electronic book he dig up, which he didn't answer. From that time onwards TA asked other batch students to clarify any doubt from him.
This guy, felt for a girl, whom he manage to see in his final year. She was beautiful because she was normal. Her behavior were honest and her attitude was humble. This guy felt the ooze of love bleeding out of his heart for her innocent core. He spoke to her and after knowing she won't be hurt and making it for her to know the answer before asking he told he has fallen for her. His body trembled, but he was stand still because he spine was powered by truth. She didn't deny nor he urged to know the answer. He just wanted to be a part of her happiness. When asked what she meant to him, he responded - " For me love is trust and respect for each other" , with his innocent reply she replied, she trust him and respect him. The days of final year were moving very fast and relation was never expressed. One day girl came to his house on his urge, but he could not tried to open her up. She was crushed into her own weight, which this fellow have cot. The smile which she has was simply a mask, she was bound and cross-wired amongst her feelings, family, society and friends. This guy have no idea what was it. On second meeting, at his house, he gained about mutual friend who also had crushed on her. And she was sort of annoyed with this things. He can't hurt anyone.
Inside himself, his throat was slit, every moment he wanted to spend with her, every pain she experience he wanted to take on her, his mind was telling him its only life exist if she is with you. He stayed awake for her to help her feel that she is not alone, when it was a day before submission of final Engineering drawing sheet. Next morning he was on time, and when she came, in second half, she asked why did you stay awake, though you had submitted the sheets long back. He happiness has no bound. One night, he wanted to really hug her and he text-ed her, she was upset about it. He apologized and also told her that the nights when he is too sleepy, are like a intoxicant for him, when his no more mask and his feeling ooze out. His passion towards her made him to feel her in his embrace and love her till eternity.
On third meeting he came to know about her fiancee, who was final year student when he was in first year (His eyes were not open to see this). She said, Its not in my hands, I have already said yes to my parents about him in my first year. He didn't showed any outburst. She was on tears, and he just can't take it. He made her sit over his computer chair, cajole her and mentioning that his feelings are kiddish and will have no significant impact in her life. He also assure her that his feeling would evaporate as soon as he join the company (he was placed already). And asked her not to shed any more tears for him, as they are far more worth. It was the first time he touched her, he touched her cheeks, after hesitating thrice, and wiped her tears. He want to embrace, but soon she left. She left and she was gone.
This guy didn't joined the company but went for higher studies at Mumbai and he never returned to Nagpur. With his deactivated FB page, he vanished from life of everyone who knew him. He was doing good in studies, and on September, there was mail from this girl. He can't just can't not reply her, he replied in very normal manner. Just to the point, didn't want to gain any information from her. She asked him to meet outside one day, he went, she messed with different routes of metro train and he went running all the way from other route (taxi or auto would be slowed him in busy evening hour at Matunga). The meeting was brief, she wanted to say something and yet taken back. After couple of days he gained about she getting engaged, from social medium as of event at NGP, and he congratulated her, and expressed his desire to meet her. He along with another girl (he now can't imaging meet her alone, contradicting to his moral) went to her location, had pre-birthday party and they left. Both were knowing that it was adieu. Night he wrote mail, sorry for everything, now being able to be good friend to stand at your support, not be able to make you happy when you think about me, sorry for being in your life to set this series of complications. Just stay happy. And in mind always be loving you.
He joined India's top university for his research, didn't updated his status over reactivated FB. He was different, living lives of different persons. On particular day he came to know about she being married, also knew that marriage was postponed and she married a different guy.
End.
...................................
This love story is real and to mention the boy is me. I didn't not present any artifacts, they are as they were. Only need to mention it to you is to give an image of my personality so that when I am dealing with you, you know me in and out. When I realize what love is from that genesis it is divine and I don't find any reason to think of to defy it. I told you how I met you. I was surfing a group on FB and your picture stuck for little more than a brief. I saw a lovely girl, a beautiful, charming and difficult to catch. I wrote it to you, because, I want it to be delivered straight. I expressed my feelings, yet choose of my words were so selective that it would hurt you in any way. My message was delivered in your other folder, where probability of scanning under your eyes were cut short. It was in month of July, I have checked every day for your reply for entire week. I was not blaming anyone, it was not a fault even. Then my research demand my attention towards it, and I stopped checking Fb.
Then two days back I received your message, it was shock because your profile pic I don't recognize. When I check then I realize that the message was sequence to thread of conversation. And I instantly recollected you. My orientation was physical towards you and in my first message I have also used words like flirt and beautiful. So I was aware that you would have respond in certain syndrome where you are stressful. I wanted to know more and into you, thinking we are moving in clear path, next day you message me that it was mistake and you was frustrated because of your boyfriend. I was taken back, my orientation towards your changed instantaneously, I though love you I would not make it complicated for you. My attraction now revolved around your happiness, your feelings and your trust, which were initially your smile and buxom body. I know it was over and I still took lot of efforts to collect courage to respond back so that you could be happy. I remember I told you how to stay clinch to love. At the same moment I was doing the same thing to make you feel happy, only intention was how to make you feel great and nothing else. You accepted my friend request, which helped me to gain access to your entire profile and I loved seeing your pictures that I have download almost all which has smile in it. In the span of day I realize you are having trouble in your decision of marriage and your boyfriend. I had a mixed feeling I want you be with me, I also though of inviting you for Mood Indigo, here at IITB, that's why I was asking when are you coming back. But on the same time I don't to replace anyone in your heart. It was inappropriate thought of mine, however it was true. I wait for your response and because I don't want to be saprophonic, I turned my internet off, also I have studies to be done. I messaged you that I would be busy and so you don't expect my reply immediately, I can never be busy for you. This was the reason why my messages was delayed. But my mind was constantly dragged towards it. I don't want you to burden about my feeling and make you uncomfortable. I was knowing that this is going to last for brief time and would be ceased, irrespective of what would be out come. I just walk as per my heart says, I just wanted you to be happy and live these precious moments to its pinnacle of glory.
Don't be under impression that I would be dejected for any thought, I am happy to share intangible relationship with you and being a cause for your smile.
That's all.
Thank you.
